This article is long overdue, both in terms of my writing it, and your reading it. You can call it a sound off, a call out, or a reality check. Or you can call it the cold, hard truth. For some, it's something you already know. For others, it's something you know but choose not to regard. Either way, this article is going to tell you EXACTLY why you are not getting what you want in life. When people use the old adage "the only thing keeping you back is you", they are 100% right. The only way you will get anything you want, is by using your BRAIN.The more people I encounter both in the gym and on the street, the more visible this truth has become. I constantly hear people complaining about why they cannot start a fitness program or how they are not hitting their goals (and I'm not just talking in the gym either!) The bottom line is this: if you are not getting what you want, it's nobody's fault but your own.
In our industry today, it is now more clear than ever before that the mind and body are connected as one. Everything we do is the result of a thought process. We are all the same human organism. We're all made up the same way. However, in studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Master Practitioner and Coach Pamela Rigden, I've personally learned that although we are made up the same, our experiences are vastly different.
Any one event that two people see is represented differently in their mind. Certain information is deleted or distorted, it is generalized and then filtered through memories, experiences, beliefs and values, decisions, language and attitude. It then creates an internal representation in our minds which affects our state at the time and our physiology which then forms our behaviour.
What does this have to do with the article?
Although we all have different internal representations of any event, we also have the power to control our behaviour through the action of decision. I know you are doing the best you can with the resources you have available. But that is my belief system about you and I may not even know you. The question is, do YOU truly believe that you are doing the best you can, or do you know that you could be doing better? Have you made a conscious choice to do that one thing better, or have you deemed it too hard, or unimportant?
What we're talking about here is RESPONSIBILITY. You and only you are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Any decision we have made and any decision we will make acts upon what Anthony Robbins refers to as the "Pain Pleasure Principle". Any decision we make is made either to avoid pain (ie. not lifting weights, procrastinating, not going to the gym period!) or to elicit pleasure (ie. working on your fitness, eating foods we know are not good for us but we enjoy and sex!).
Undoubtedly, you have experienced something in your lifetime which has forged your decision making abilities to create mass generalizations about certain things. If you've ever had just 1 near death experience swimming, you may never go into a pool again. Do cookies make you feel better after a long day at work? That's been conditioned. Maybe you had one bad gym class when you were a kid, or maybe you were picked last and have been turned off exercise altogether. Do any of these sound familiar?
I'm here to let you know that IT STOPS HERE. You do have the power to do anything you want, as long as you claim responsibility for it! You must CHOOSE to be the cause in your life, and not be the culmination of the effects in your life! You can choose to eat the unhealthy food that you enjoy, or you can find a healthier alternative that will give you the same pleasure. It really is as simple as it sounds. Even as you read this, you're making a choice whether to take it seriously, or consider it just another trainer sounding off on something he doesn't understand. Think I don't have hardships in my life? Think again.
When you become the cause in your life, you empower yourself to do anything. A fellow colleague of mine and I shared a conversation along these lines not too long ago and he emailed me a excerpt from a book. I'll share that excerpt with you now:
So many people out there aren’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary to be in the best shape they could possibly be in. As a result, they assume everyone else must be cheating. People often make comments about me like “Oh, he must be doing steroids” or “He must be on some type of drugs”. That’s a self-esteem issue – for them. I’ll tell you what they’re really saying: “I don’t have the where-withal to endure the pain that it must take to get into that kind of shape. Therefore, he had to cheat. Because if he didn’t, that means that he’s more focused, more determined, more ambitious, and more aggressive than I am, and I can’t accept that. So I’d rather say he cheated”.
That is such a cop-out. It’s like saying the class valedictorian had to have notes written on his shoe, that there’s no way someone could have studied all night and skipped sleep and crammed and gone on the Internet and researched everything in order to get those grades. He had to cheat. That’s unfortunate because people who excel academically really do put in the work, the same way I rock the weights. Before sitting down to write this, I trained for 45 minutes in the gym at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills. That may not be remarkable – only I was up at 4:30 this morning, in a car by 5:00, on a plane by 7:00, flew 6 ½ hours goin’ back to Cali, had two important business meetings once I arrived – and then did that workout, which had my heart rate racing from beginning to end. And in a few minutes I will head over to Jimmy Kimmel Live to perform five songs on national television.
Would I have rather gotten some sleep and bailed on my workout? Are you kidding me? Of course! But the key to this whole thing is doing what you’re supposed to do even when you don’t necessarily want to. That’s discipline, and discipline creates consistency, and consistency breeds success. That 45-minute workout I just did means nothing if it’s only done once, but think about how you’d look if you did that every day for 6 months. Just that! And just ate halfway decent. So are you willing to put the cake down, the ice cream back in the freezer, and the fast-food burger back form where it came? I’ve never seen a single person with abs of steel eating a doughnut, have you? When you’re no longer willing to tolerate what’s in your life, you can get it out of your life. Taken from - LL Cool J’s Platinum Workout, 2006
Try this formula for success. First, know what it is that you want. Do you even have an idea right now? What are your fitness, financial or relationships goals? What is this want going to do for you?
Now envision it clearly in a big, brightly coloured box exactly how you want it. Take in any audio you may hear. Turn the volume up. Notice how you feel in this moment. Feel how just this power of THOUGHT is already making your pulse heighten! Is there a smile on your face? Your brain just changed your physiology and state!
Next, figure out how to start and maintain this course. Can you do it by yourself? If not, then with whom, and how? What resources do you have available right now to get you what you want? What is standing in your way? How do you break that down? What do you need to go out and get in order to get those resources? Figure out when you want your desired outcome and set a deadline. Write it down! It becomes real when you do!
Figure out what you want to keep from your current behaviour. These are the things you are absolutely not willing to change. If some of these are things that hurt you, think of alternatives that will give you the same outcome, but without the negative effect.
It is so easy in our day and age to just "go with the flow". Many times, we just let our environment dictate the decisions that we make. The media has a massive effect on us, but you can change that! Open up your eyes and your ears for clues!
The world around us is constantly giving us little hints as to how to get what we want. Ask yourself, is this worth the cost to me? Do I see the value behind what I want? Do I understand the benefits of what I will get with what I want? Is it congruent with my beliefs, my values, my sense of self or identity?
If you've done all those things, you've now forged a brand new path ahead of you! You've made a decision towards pleasure! Think of it like a car: it's pretty hard to see where you're going if you're always looking back. Instead of saying "I want to lose weight", say "I want to be slimmer!"
Know what you want. Figure out how to get it. Make a decision and finally, ACT NOW!
Nothing worth doing ever came easy. Nothing worth having will just be given to you. It may be a long, hard road, but as long as you keep your mind focused on what it is exactly that you want, you will find that your mind, like the great leader Hannibal once said, will either "find a way, or make one."
This is your wake up call. Take responsibility for your life. No longer will you play the victim. No longer will you blame others, make excuses or give reasons.
No...not anymore.
You now have the power. You now have the control. You now have the ability to do WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU WANT!
Because whether you think you can or you can't, you're right.
- AK
Adam has completed a 4 day introduction to NLP programming and is currently working towards becoming an NLP Practitioner through the INLPTA. To date, he has helped clients lose weight, reduce inches, increase strength and muscle, reduce depression, get off blood pressure medication, prepared women for motherhood and changed entire lifestyles. His style of training is holistic, meaning you will reap the benefits of training with him in body, mind and spirit. Catch Adam on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/ackania
