Reframing and the Transformation of Meaning

I tend to read a lot of books. Typically, I’ll read 2 or 3 at a time to give myself a little variety, like changing the channels on a TV. One will be a book I’ve chosen for entertainment, and another will be one on how to improve myself or help my clientele out. Passing over this section in Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People by Joseph O’Connor & John Seymour, I felt it was something that would be appropriate to share with you on I Will Act Now. The following is a word for word excerpt. See how it can apply to you, in any and every aspect of your life:

Reframing and the Transformation of Meaning

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

- William Shakespeare

Mankind has always searched for meaning. Events happen, but until we give them meaning, elate them to the rest of our life, and evaluate the possible consequences, they are not important. We learn what things mean from our culture and individual upbringing. To ancient peoples, astrological phenomena had great meaning: comets were portents of change, and the relationship of the stars and planets influenced individual destinies. Now scientists do not take eclipse and comets personally. They are beautiful to see and confirm the universe still obeys the laws we have made up for it.

What does a rainstorm mean? Bad news if you are out in the open without a raincoat. Good news if you are a farmer and there has been a drought. Bad news if you are the organizer of an open-air party.

Good news if your cricket team is close to defeat and the match is called off. The meaning of any event depends on the frame you put it in. When you change the frame, you also change the meaning. When the meaning changes so do your responses and behaviour. The ability to reframe events gives greater freedom and choice.

One person we knew well fell and injured his knee quite badly. This was painful, and meant he could not play squash, a game he enjoyed very much. He framed the accident as an opportunity rather than a limitation, consulted a number of doctors and physiotherapists, and found out how the muscles and ligaments of the knee worked. Fortunately, he did not need surgery. He devised an exercise programme for himself and six months later his knee was stronger than it had been, and he was fitter and healthier too. He corrected the postural habits that had led to his knee becoming weak in the first place. Even his squash improved. Hurting his knee was very useful. Misfortune is a point of view.

Metaphors are reframing devices. They say in effect “This could mean that…” Fairy tales are beautiful examples of reframes. What seems to be unlucky turns out to be helpful. An ugly duckling is a young swan. A curse is really a blessing in disguise. A frog can be a prince. And if whatever you touch turns to gold, you are in big trouble.

Inventors make reframes. There is the well-known example of the man who woke up one night with the sharp end of a rusty spring in his old mattress digging into him. What possible use could an old bedspring have? (Besides depriving him of sleep.) He reframed it as a stylish egg-cup and started a successful company on the strength of the idea.

Jokes are reframes. Nearly all jokes start by setting events in a certain frame and then suddenly and drastically changing it. Jokes involve taking an object or situation and putting it suddenly in a different context, or suddenly giving it another meaning.

Sleight of Mouth Patterns

Here are some examples of different viewpoints on the same statement:

“My job is going badly and I feel depressed.”

Generalize: Perhaps you’re feeling down generally, but your job is OK.

Apply to self: Maybe you are making yourself depressed by thinking that.

Elicit values or criteria: What is important about your job that makes you think is going wrong?

Positive outcome: It could make you work harder to get over this particular problem.

Change outcome: Perhaps you need to change jobs.

Setting a further outcome: Can you learn something useful from the way your job is going at the moment?

Tell a metaphor: It’s a bit like learning to walk…

Redefine: Your depression might mean you are feeling angry because your job is making unreasonable demands on you.

Step down: Which particular parts of your job are going badly?

Step up: How are things generally?

Counter examples: Has your work ever gone badly without you being depressed?

Positive intention: That shows you care about your job.

Time frame: It’s a phase, it will pass.

Reframing is not a way of looking at the world through rose-coloured spectacles, so that everything is “really” good. Problems will not vanish of their own accord, they still have to be worked through, but the more ways you have of looking at them, the easier they are to solve.

Reframe to see the possible gain, and represent an experience in ways that support your own outcomes and those you share with others. You are not free to choose when you see yourself pushed by forced beyond your control. Reframe so you have some time to maneuver.

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Be the Positive Influence!

Once and awhile, you'll come across a person and have a conversation on a topic you know deep down in your subconscious makes sense, and it will enlighten you in a way that makes you want to share it. That conversation happened today with a member who I'll refer to as P.

As I was finishing up a series of footwork exercises on the agility ladder, an elderly gentleman began talking to me from the chest press machine. He asked what I was doing, and what it was for. I told him it was an agility exercise that I've been doing for years, specifically for football training. He figured that's what it was. After mentioning that I no longer played football, he asked me why I continued to do it. I told him that I simply wanted to stay agile and athletic, even if I no longer needed to use it for football itself. It made sense to P, who at 75 years old, still acts and moves as if he was much younger.

P told me that he himself had been a football player in the CFL back in the 50's (before my parents were even born!) He recalled doing footwork drills such as the ones I was doing to keep himself fast as well. When football ended for him, he moved to warmer climates for a number of years at which point he fell ill. But did a diagnosis stop him? No sir. P continued working on his health and has not allowed an illness to beat him to this very day.

He mentioned that he had friends down south who owned houses on the beach (houses, not condos) and who worked far too hard for far too long. For most, their health declined immensely due to their inability to balance work and play, as well as their inability to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Even though they had accumulated a large sum of money, to quote P: "What good is all that money if you don't have your health?"

It was at the end of that sentence that it clicked for me. Here was this gentleman, 75 years old, had lived a long life through various illnesses, still plugging away and working on his longevity and quality of life. It truly amazed me, especially when I think of some of the people in my life who absolutely need to get into the gym to work on their own health (family members included).

There are a plethora of us out there, both in the gym reading this article or reading it online at home or work, that are guilty of taking our health for granted at times. Yes, you may work your butt off in the literal or metaphorical sense, but you know as well as I do that there are people in our lives who simply do not share the same work ethic. These are the workaholics, trying to climb up the corporate ladder at all costs or some just barely trying to stay afloat. These are the lazy, who have never worked out a day in their life, either because they don't know what to do or are afraid to try something different. Even though these two descriptions are seemingly at opposite ends of the spectrum, they are walking along the same path hand in hand towards a short, illness filled life.

Take a moment and think about whether you have people like this in your life. Maybe it's mom or dad, a brother or sister, husband or wife, children, friends. Think about the work you put in and how it makes you feel. For some, you may be frustrated with a lack of results. But the point is, YOU ARE HERE AND WORKING TOWARDS YOUR GOALS. You've made that conscious decision to take a stand against a life of laziness and work towards a long and healthy life.

Don't you want the people you care about to do the same?!?

As a holistic fitness professional, I focus my attention both for myself and for my clients to a) get them towards their goals, whether it be aesthetic, rehabilitation, weight loss or muscle gain and b) exercise my professional and, more importantly, MORAL OBLIGATION to give them a happier and healthier lifestyle. I love my job because each and every day that I wake up, be it 5:30 in the morning or later, I know that I have chosen a career in which I help people drastically change their lives each and every workout, and that makes my job easy. I love what I do. I love the gym I work at and the people I work with and I strive every day to get better at something, be it physical, mental, emotional, social or spiritual and I work to instill that same fervent attitude in my clients.

But now you are thinking so what? What does you loving your job have to do with me? Simply put, you don't have to be a fitness professional to be a positive influence in somebody's life. You know your capabilities in and out of the gym. You know how working out makes you feel. Pay it forward. Go to that loved one and encourage them to do the same. Break them away from the shackles of the desk and walk them through their first workout. They'll be comfortable with you and not as nervous the first time around. Show them how to work intervals, and help them create an uplifting playlist to get their throughout their workout. Help them setup a routine if you are in the know, or point them in the direction of someone who does. Bottom line is, be the positive influence in that person's life and watch how they become better as a person each and every day.

All it takes is that initial endorphin rush for them to get hooked. And when they do, they will remember you as being the positive influence in their life that helped them drastically change theirs to one of health, fitness, longevity and fun.